Her Success is not Your Failure

Im smiling through some of life’s lemons today, I have to be honest. The title says it all and thats what my friend Maggie gave me as encouragement that people aren’t always going to respond the best because unfortunately a lot of times when you have success in their mind it degrades them somehow.

If Blog, Instagram or Facebook posts etc. aggravates you: remember you have a choice to look or not to look.  Gosh that sounds so harsh but how many times, if we are honest has “did you see what she posted”  come out of our mouths.  Just because “she” doesn’t hear it doesn’t mean you aren’t tearing her down. I guess the saying could go the other way as well,”Her failure is not your success”?!

I remember looking at one of those backpack things with the lease on a kid and saying maybe they should just make their child obey.  Boy did I eat my words when I had Jaden. I don’t have one but I seriously contemplated it several times.  The bottom line I learned was parent how I want to parent but if something another mom does different works why not use that success to enrich my parenting.  The same is true in a general sense. I don’t have it all figured out and neither does the next person but I will never look at the success of another woman and think that it creates a failure in my life.  Thats a choice!

IMG_8094.jpgWhen Maggie and I were talking about this tonight it sparked so many thoughts in my head.  About 6 years ago I heard a motivational speaker talk about the crab mentality (if I can’t have it then neither can you).  You see the crabs when caught in a bucket could escape but instead they will grab at each other to prevent the next from escaping preventing any of them from getting out.  Huh?! isn’t that crazy?!  I think Woman are like this in a lot of ways. The bottom line in my mind is beyond the “if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say it at all.”  I really think we should look at the next woman and say instead of counting her success as my failure, let me look at it as my opportunity for enrichment.  I have a list of these women in my life some of them really good friends, some friends, some acquaintances, and some just merely those I’ve watched from a distance.  There are several that came to mind tonight while I was taking pictures at our churches Vacation Bible School…so I snuck shots of the ones that were there.

Maggie- I could write a book.  You have helped me raise my boys and taught me patience.  You have been patient with me and loved me through seeing the ugliest parts of me.  Your style is laid back but still cute.  You have a big heart and a wise soul.  I value your opinion above most and admire your faith.

Jules- (not pictured)  Your heart inspires me and your willingness to help anyone is something that has inspired me over the years that I have known you. You are an amazing mom to those 2 girls and I have learned that somethings I can give up control of to have a better quality of life.

Jessica- (not pictured)  You are open and un afraid of the truth even if it stings.  When I first meet you I always admired your ability to make a friend easily and your loyalty to your friends.  Being around you has enriched my personality.  You know how to have fun and you do an amazing job raising your 2 kids to have fun and you do so in a selfless way.

Brianna- Girl you are more organized then I will ever be. I love how you do so many things to support your husband that are unseen by many.  You have preserved through many trials and yet still have faith.  I admire how you have taught your 2 kids to love and to be kind and to be thoughtful of others.  I have taken many parenting notes from you and I will continue to watch how you do things.

Marcia- You have a joy about you that I had never seen when I met you.  I believe you truly would give anyone the shirt off your back and you showed me love when I was so down and feeling bad about my life and i have to say that I am better 8 years later in part, because of you.

Woman that may not know -but I see you….

Cristin- You have a personality that I have never seen, full of joy and life.  I admire your faith and family and can’t wait to see how God will put you in my path over the years as help as he did with you and your Mom already!

Nika- I admire your willingness to be open and share your faith

Kelsey- The first time I met your daughter she was covered head to toe in mud…have my kids ever done that, no but I took a parenting note from you.  I don’t remember exactly what you said but basically it was oh well it will wash up.  I am uptight about messes but what you said was right who cares no big deal it will wash up.  Let them have fun!

Stephanie- Your smile lights up the room and your heart shines right through.  I can appreciate your passion for our church and the kids in it and I am sure I will learn lots from you.

Trisha- again, do you ever have a bad day (I know you do) but I don’t see that you do.  Even through a tremendous opposition you smile and you 3 babies are so blessed to have you as their mom.

Tina- You have encouraged me so many times when I should have been encouraging you.  You have taught me to suck it up and keep moving (without even saying it to me)  You inspire me without even saying a word.

Jenny- I don’t know you well but that is what i notice.  You are quite and sometimes I don’t know when to shut up.  You are raising 3 kind hearted kids with great work ethic and I need some of that secret sauce.  I don’t want to have to google it (inside joke)

Abigail- You and your husband work together in the financial industry so we have something in common.  I feel like we can relate in so many ways.  I can’t wait to see how you will enrich my life.

Jen you successfully manage a home full of 5 spirit filled kids, you have a heart of gold and a forgiving spirit you are wise beyond your years.  You are tenacious and strong!

Stacy and Kayla I love our random conversations,  I love that we can walk by each other and spark a conversation about anything.  I admire both of your dedication to the church as well.

Im sure I didn’t list everyone,  I can say that there is not one lady on the list that is exactly like me or thinks like me.  Actually I would say most are very different.  I chose to let each of their personalities and successes to enrich me.  In other words I want to learn from them and let their successes help me grow as a Wife, a Mother, a Friend and most importantly a person.

When life gives you Lemons, paint them pink. Remember who you are and whose you are and choose to be positive. 





3 thoughts on “Her Success is not Your Failure

  1. Once again, well written!! I always felt my life was going well and very solid, by then a tremor hit. It is very easy to look at the mess you are in and sink into a hole of pity….but instead, look at the positive forces around you, whether it be your loving family, tour great friends, or, people you admire…take those traits and use them to move forward. You are the only person in control of your destiny, make it worth the life God gave you. I would like to thank your amazing sister Sade, whom God put in my life for a reason…”True friendship will never die”…she will never know how much her presence has helped me

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