Pre-Mother’s Day

Pre-Mother’s Day
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Similar Kate spade dress / Daisy Garden Dress

I on purpose am not going to look at what I wrote last year about my mother (bare with me if I repeat anything).  I am curious to see what comes from my heart this time.  When I was little (as you may have read last year) my mother was an addict so she didn’t raise me much of my life; consequently Mother’s Day has always been a hard day for me.

I am so blessed with my children and by plenty of people that love me so don’t feel bad.  I just got thinking this morning that I have come so far.

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I went through very bitter dark feelings until I was a young adult.  There are a couple of poems that I wrote her (a shared interest that we had) at 12 I wrote “Someday”  which was when I just wanted her in my life so bad, I would just sit and cry and write.

Someday I’ll see you.

Not alone.

Not in hiding…Someday I’ll see you. 

Someday I’ll see you 

We’ll be together.

In the same room.

Together…Someday I’ll see you.

Someday I’ll see you 

everything will be okay.

No one will care…Someday I’ll see you.

Someday I’ll see you. 

Nothing will matter. 

My love for you will never die…Someday I’ll see you.

Someday I’ll see you. 

“I love you Mommy, I love you Mommy” 

I will say….soon 

Someday I will see you.

I don’t remember if “Soul” came before or after but I felt so abandoned and just plain mad.  I would caution any parent that has a child that has lost a birth parent to really listen and if you listen good you can hear them screaming inside.

 

 

Hate, the burning desire to hate creeps up into my soul everyday

I try to push this feeling away.

But, sometimes no more can i take 

Hate is bad, I know 

but, why must life provoke me so.

I have shed many tears through hate

Im not proud, Im ashamed 

are so much

My soul can only take so much.

This can be controlled…I tell myself day by day.

I think the last dark one I wrote (there are many others) was “Fly Away”.  Stick with me, its gonna get happier.  

Lord, take me to a place unknown. 

I feel that I’m ready to go home.

Lift me up to flyaway there, like a flock of birds flying high in the air.  

The earth is filled with so much hate. 

Of which I feel that i should not participate.

Lead me to this paradise, so that I don’t have to feel this rueful strife.

Bring me through those golden gates.

I just cannot take much more of this place.

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On 03/01/01 (I know the date because I wrote it down) a Pastor at the Lutheran Church I was attending talked about forgiveness and she said something that struck a cord.  She said “Make a list of people that have hurt you and forgive them.  Im not going to share the whole list But #1 was My Name and #2 was My Mother.  I don’t remember why I put myself down first…maybe it was because I knew that my heart wasn’t right but regardless, that day was a breaking point.  I forgave her.  I forgave her for the drugs and life that she let consume her.  I let her back in.  I had for the sake of protecting myself pushed her far away and convinced myself I didn’t need her anyway.  Fast forward to the day she week before she died: I sat in the room with her by ourselves, she couldn’t really talk from her stroke.  We just stared into each others eyes for a while and she just kept nodding at me like she could her my voice.  I wasn’t talking but I was thinking; I love you, I forgive you, let go of your pain go home and be new.  I had several more moments like this with her, one where she confirmed that she had already trusted in the Lord.  When I got the call that she was close to the end. It was just her daughters sitting around her after my Nana went home for the night.  We sat there for a couple of hours and then with my hand on her chest, and hovered over her I felt her last heart beat and heard her last breath.  I think she gave that to me. Somehow in that one moment, that one small gift made everything amended.  The closeness I needed all of my life, I finally received.  I hold on to that moment every-time I get sad.

I Love you Mommy, I will see you again.

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Posh Pineapples

Posh Pineapples

I love fruit prints so when I saw this skirt I had to have it!  (Lemons and Pineapples are my favorite)  When ever I buy a skirt like this I usually make sure that I have a casual top to wear with it to wear on the weekends as well as a dressy top. Its finally warm enough to bring out some of my summery pieces so Ill be posting all my Talbots haul on instagram this week.  I can wait to get my outdoor space all set up because lets face it Ohio weather has been anything but tropical!KAT_5626

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All three pieces are currently 30% off!  Poplin Top / Skirt / Stripe Pima Tee

Also on my list this dress and this dress as well as this bag!

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Standout

Standout

I had time in-between meetings today when l was driving down Lane Avenue in Upper Arlington I started reflecting on myself and realized a few things. (I happened to have my camera too so that was a bonus!)  I’m gonna share one of them today.  I have in some ways held myself back not even realizing it.  My sister got married this weekend (Yay!) and one of the things our Dad said about her is so true, “When Shelby says she is going to do something…she does it”.   I have always thought she was amazing in so many different ways but that comment right there summed it up.  She is confident!  I think I have a little of that but, I somehow revert back to this place of feeling that I am so different that I try to fit in.  I need to remind myself that my differences make me unique, they make me interesting and they make me special….and thats ok!  Pink Lemons Right?!?

I bought this outfit last week, totally out of the realm of my normal style but its kinda saucy!  Red is the ultimate confidence color and Linen is extremely comfortable.

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Banana Republic jacket can be found here and Banana Republic jumpsuit here. (I know there aren’t many sizes left but this romper version is cute!  The espadrilles are old Kate spade but here are some cute ones! Necklace can be found here at Tiffany and Co. (this is not sponsored) go see Bob at the Easton Store if you live in Columbus he will take good care of you!

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Lady Like

Lady Like

Hi, I’m still alive…Lots going on with my business in the last few months but I’m back!

I have been a long time follower Gal meets Glam by Julia Engel, more of from a distance early on because I was traveling so much and thought her travel content was awesome.  When i found out that she was launching a dress line I knew right away it was going to be amazing! I bought 6 dresses so ill be posting them over the next couple weeks on my instagram.  The Anne is my favorite because of the crisp fabric and perfect fit.  I styled it with a belt here because i was wearing it to work but it comes with a fabric tie.  annedress5

 

I love how the button detail is on a diagonal in the front of the dress and there is a zipper up the back.  Sometimes dresses are hard to get on and off but this one is very functional and easy.  The strawberry bag is Kate Spade (nordstrom still has them).anne4annedress2

I think you could throw on some flats or espadrilles and change the entire look!  I ordered my dress’s from Nordstrom but here is the link directly from Gal Meets Glam.

Here are my other suggested pairings- This bag and these shoes.

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Casual Friday 

I have totally completely been MIA from my blog the last month but I promise it will get better.  I looked busted for like 2 weeks from a stupid summer cold…then my husband and I were super busy with plans at our practice…then my dog ate my homework….lol….but seriously we had a lot happening and since this is just for fun it took a back seat.  Unfortunately we lost Greg’s Dad last Friday and laid him to rest just yesterday so of course we were spending lots of time with his mom.  I stopped into Talbots on Lane Avene and ….WOW is all I can say about the collection. And I did some theroputic shopping this dress is just a cute little running around number but the sleeves make it!  

They had 25% off so I also picked up another dress, a couple of pants and a jacket.  Don’t pass up this collection it’s really back to the high quality design and fabric that made me a fan years ago.  

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I just got a chance to look at what Nordstrom had for the Anniversary Sale.  Some of my favorite pieces are below.  I only ordered a couple to things, I will post them with they come in!

These are my favorites for work

(they really have a great variety of price points on the sale)

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Color Blocked Top
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Pink Lace
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Knit Dress
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Scalloped Edge Sweater
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Crops
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Sheath
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Polka Dot Blouse

These are my favorite casual pieces

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Long Sweater
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Silk Top
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Asymmetrical Sweater
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Basic Tee
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Skinny with cool Hem

Curly Girl

Curly Girl

So lets talk about natural hair!  I had big bouncy curls as a child and then when I was 10 I was taken to get my first relaxer….BIG MISTAKE!  I continued getting relaxers till about 7 years ago when I met Becky at the Kenneth’s in Dublin.  She convinced me to grow the relaxers out and I am so glad that I did because honestly I still had to flat iron my hair when I wanted it straight but now I don’t have all of the chemical damage.  I don’t think I have the best curls but thats what the good Lord gave me to work with so I have just learned to embrace it.

The only downside to going natural is that when the humidity is high there is no keeping my hair straight….it just gets puffy.   July is usually super hot in Ohio so I was on the hunt recently for a new curly product to use.  I am mixed so typically products for Caucasian hair don’t work that great for me but on the flip side some Black hair products are too heavy.  Whats a girl to do!  I saw Ouidad at Ulta and instantly the Marketing compelled me because of the diversity they showed in the models!  I walked out with these three products as well as a shampoo sample pack just incase I didn’t like it.  I have kinky curls but I also bought the beach wave foam.

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Wave Create, Curl Immersion, Melt-Down Extreme Repair Mask, and The Trial Kit

My process was to wash and apply the Melt Down Mask for 30 min.  Then I rinsed with cold water and applied the Immersion section by section and dry with a defuser attached to my GHD Dryer .  Here is the finished look,  I will say that if I do curls for a week usually the curls get better after a couple washes. The pic makes them look a little frizzy but they really aren’t its just back lit.

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Old Kate Spade Dress, my shoes are Classic Salvatore Ferragamo Kala pumps in Navy which are fairly hard to find but I did see that Zappos has some right now.  Usually Bloomingdales restocks them.

Here is a pic from today all I did was put a tiny bit of water in to reform the curls on top but Im really happy with this because usually I can only get one day out of my curls.

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How cute is the Zara top and it is on Sale!!!! Lip stick is Chanel Le Rouge Crayon in Cassis

If you get Lemons today paint them pink!

Southwest Senora!

This dress has some major southwest vibes so my Taco Truck purse goes perfect with it.    I think it runs big and long so I got a petite I’m 5’4″ for reference. My shoes are old but here is a similar pair or these.

The waist is actually embroidered!  I love details like that especially when it’s reasonably priced. Adios Amigas !!

Mickey….Target Style

I went into target to pick up last minute odds and ends and to my surprise they had loads of Disney tops and Jammie’s!  There were about 6 men’s top options, 4 women’s and tons of kids in the grove city store.  I am going to link all the tops below but seriously look at all the Disney woman options  

I bought 3 for greg, he chose this one and made me take the others back here is one of the others I couldn’t talk him into. 

My top is really cute, I love how it is worn looking. I really liked this one too.  My magic band is the new limited edition Dooney and Bourke but, I can’t find it on the Disney store so they may have sold out, I got it on Main Street last week.

My shoes are mentioned in my Disney experience post


My weekender is the old version but here is the new one.  I lucked out a couple of years ago and found the luggage at tjmaxx!!! We only use them for Disney trips so they will last.  I had to get this bag last week since my bag weight was over.  This bag is a good deal at Macy’s right now!  #1 tip is have an extra carryon or half empty bag for the flight back since kids like to get prizes. #2 we get gift cards from giant eagle and write each of heir names on them so that they have a budget and we don’t get roped into more stuff. (Well sometimes this happens anyway, haha we try at least!) #3 make sure you hit up the Pandora World of Avatar shop there are really cool things in there!  

Breezy Pineapples

Breezy Pineapples

I picked up this outfit yesterday at Easton.  I spied the pineapple print as soon as I walked in and decided on this top and shorts.  The length on the shorts is perfect!

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Of course my taco truck tagged along  (on a side note I seriously need to lay off the tacos!!!) The Bag isn’t online yet but you can call my girl Emily at Easton and she will get you one. Here is a really cute necklace!!! 

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Let’s talk about these shoes from Talbots (heart emoji!!!!). Snag them tonight while they are 30% off.  Ive mentioned before that I think they do a good job with keeping the price and quality on point!  I have several more on my wish list. These come in 4 colors I also want the gold.  Wish list shoes, flower sandals , Strappy dressy,  flower heel.  I also picked up this dress, its on sale too! KAT_4746fKAT_4702