Keep Me Beautiful

Keep Me Beautiful

Makeup should be an enhancement, not something to fix your flaws.  Don’t get me wrong, I have struggled with insecurities over the years but, deep down I know that’s its purpose.  I have really been thinking about how we as women are so critical of ourselves and each other.  I did a video in my stories on the way over to Mukha Spa and Custom Cosmetics and talked a little bit about the fact that we shouldn’t be afraid to be seen without makeup on.

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Tim Maurer and I have crossed paths many times over the past several years when we are at the TV Station for our Businesses and I finally wanted to give his Salon a try.  I knew he had great products but truthfully I am always worried about getting my makeup done because. #1 my skin is sensitive and #2 I am always worried I will end up looking like a clown.  Some of those makeup counters in the mall seriously scare me and if I ever look that extra please call me out.  But seriously changing our routine is hard with anything but I think especially for hair and makeup.  Tim generously offered to set me up to try his salon out and let me just say I am a genuine raving fan.  When you do things as right as they do its no wonder they are so successful.  Several things stood out to me that the staff said about Tim, he has a great heart and that he likes things done right.  My appointment started with a style with Damon,who really gave me a consultation before he got started and answered a lot of questions that I had.  What I especially loved about the finished product is that he styled it similar to how I do so that made me feel like Im on track.  He also told me some helpful advice.  I asked him about the length of my hair and his response was very honest. He said its not an impactful length, he would take it up to my shoulders and give it a WOW cut or he would help me grow length into it and I thought he was spot on.  I think sometimes we go in to a salon and they ask us how we feel but they don’t always give suggestions or maybe we don’t ask them to give us any, but YOU SHOULD!  I always say, “let the artist be an artist.”

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After my hair I sat down with Sierra and Amanda for my makeup appointment and OH MY GOODNESS!  I am completely obsessed with the products that they have.  Tim has created all of the products used and they are natural.  When I washed my face the next day my skin felt dramatically different.  I can’t even explain it, it just felt clean.  He custom blends eyeshadows and lipglosses.  I didn’t have time to shop after but I will be back when I have time to narrow down what I want because I seriously could have just said give me one of everything.  Just to prove how serious I am about his stuff….I didn’t buy anymore of my “favorite foundation” because when I run out Im going to be making the switch!

The look of one happy customer that will be back again to this awesome salon in the Short North area of Columbus.

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This sweater is so comfy and on sale!

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Feeling Confident and ready to take on my day!  Thanks so much Tim!

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Services provided complimentary by Mukha Spa and review is based on my opinion and experience. I was not compensated monetarily to give this review.

Pre-Mother’s Day

Pre-Mother’s Day
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Similar Kate spade dress / Daisy Garden Dress

I on purpose am not going to look at what I wrote last year about my mother (bare with me if I repeat anything).  I am curious to see what comes from my heart this time.  When I was little (as you may have read last year) my mother was an addict so she didn’t raise me much of my life; consequently Mother’s Day has always been a hard day for me.

I am so blessed with my children and by plenty of people that love me so don’t feel bad.  I just got thinking this morning that I have come so far.

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I went through very bitter dark feelings until I was a young adult.  There are a couple of poems that I wrote her (a shared interest that we had) at 12 I wrote “Someday”  which was when I just wanted her in my life so bad, I would just sit and cry and write.

Someday I’ll see you.

Not alone.

Not in hiding…Someday I’ll see you. 

Someday I’ll see you 

We’ll be together.

In the same room.

Together…Someday I’ll see you.

Someday I’ll see you 

everything will be okay.

No one will care…Someday I’ll see you.

Someday I’ll see you. 

Nothing will matter. 

My love for you will never die…Someday I’ll see you.

Someday I’ll see you. 

“I love you Mommy, I love you Mommy” 

I will say….soon 

Someday I will see you.

I don’t remember if “Soul” came before or after but I felt so abandoned and just plain mad.  I would caution any parent that has a child that has lost a birth parent to really listen and if you listen good you can hear them screaming inside.

 

 

Hate, the burning desire to hate creeps up into my soul everyday

I try to push this feeling away.

But, sometimes no more can i take 

Hate is bad, I know 

but, why must life provoke me so.

I have shed many tears through hate

Im not proud, Im ashamed 

are so much

My soul can only take so much.

This can be controlled…I tell myself day by day.

I think the last dark one I wrote (there are many others) was “Fly Away”.  Stick with me, its gonna get happier.  

Lord, take me to a place unknown. 

I feel that I’m ready to go home.

Lift me up to flyaway there, like a flock of birds flying high in the air.  

The earth is filled with so much hate. 

Of which I feel that i should not participate.

Lead me to this paradise, so that I don’t have to feel this rueful strife.

Bring me through those golden gates.

I just cannot take much more of this place.

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On 03/01/01 (I know the date because I wrote it down) a Pastor at the Lutheran Church I was attending talked about forgiveness and she said something that struck a cord.  She said “Make a list of people that have hurt you and forgive them.  Im not going to share the whole list But #1 was My Name and #2 was My Mother.  I don’t remember why I put myself down first…maybe it was because I knew that my heart wasn’t right but regardless, that day was a breaking point.  I forgave her.  I forgave her for the drugs and life that she let consume her.  I let her back in.  I had for the sake of protecting myself pushed her far away and convinced myself I didn’t need her anyway.  Fast forward to the day she week before she died: I sat in the room with her by ourselves, she couldn’t really talk from her stroke.  We just stared into each others eyes for a while and she just kept nodding at me like she could her my voice.  I wasn’t talking but I was thinking; I love you, I forgive you, let go of your pain go home and be new.  I had several more moments like this with her, one where she confirmed that she had already trusted in the Lord.  When I got the call that she was close to the end. It was just her daughters sitting around her after my Nana went home for the night.  We sat there for a couple of hours and then with my hand on her chest, and hovered over her I felt her last heart beat and heard her last breath.  I think she gave that to me. Somehow in that one moment, that one small gift made everything amended.  The closeness I needed all of my life, I finally received.  I hold on to that moment every-time I get sad.

I Love you Mommy, I will see you again.

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Curly Girl

Curly Girl

So lets talk about natural hair!  I had big bouncy curls as a child and then when I was 10 I was taken to get my first relaxer….BIG MISTAKE!  I continued getting relaxers till about 7 years ago when I met Becky at the Kenneth’s in Dublin.  She convinced me to grow the relaxers out and I am so glad that I did because honestly I still had to flat iron my hair when I wanted it straight but now I don’t have all of the chemical damage.  I don’t think I have the best curls but thats what the good Lord gave me to work with so I have just learned to embrace it.

The only downside to going natural is that when the humidity is high there is no keeping my hair straight….it just gets puffy.   July is usually super hot in Ohio so I was on the hunt recently for a new curly product to use.  I am mixed so typically products for Caucasian hair don’t work that great for me but on the flip side some Black hair products are too heavy.  Whats a girl to do!  I saw Ouidad at Ulta and instantly the Marketing compelled me because of the diversity they showed in the models!  I walked out with these three products as well as a shampoo sample pack just incase I didn’t like it.  I have kinky curls but I also bought the beach wave foam.

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Wave Create, Curl Immersion, Melt-Down Extreme Repair Mask, and The Trial Kit

My process was to wash and apply the Melt Down Mask for 30 min.  Then I rinsed with cold water and applied the Immersion section by section and dry with a defuser attached to my GHD Dryer .  Here is the finished look,  I will say that if I do curls for a week usually the curls get better after a couple washes. The pic makes them look a little frizzy but they really aren’t its just back lit.

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Old Kate Spade Dress, my shoes are Classic Salvatore Ferragamo Kala pumps in Navy which are fairly hard to find but I did see that Zappos has some right now.  Usually Bloomingdales restocks them.

Here is a pic from today all I did was put a tiny bit of water in to reform the curls on top but Im really happy with this because usually I can only get one day out of my curls.

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How cute is the Zara top and it is on Sale!!!! Lip stick is Chanel Le Rouge Crayon in Cassis

If you get Lemons today paint them pink!